Saturday, July 03, 2004  
Putting the ASS in low class

Mr. Jay Mariotti and Mr. Ken "Hawk" Harrelson have been feuding; read the story here.

It sounds like Mariotti is acting like a jerk. Harrelson, ever playing the role of homer, has been retaliating on-air about Mariotti's incessant Sox attacks, and the two met recently. What followed must have been pretty funny to see; Mariotti puffed out his chest and threatened to punch Harrelson, who responded in a manner similar to Rocky after Ivan Drago threatens to break him in Rocky IV.


Cubs win! Cubs win! There was nothing scarier than getting home last night, turning on Sportscenter, and seeing Carlos Zambrano grabbing his arm, face twisted to reflect his agony. If it isn't just dehydration, we'd better hope Albert Pujols retires and moves to Fiji to sip little drinks with umbrellas in them on a beach with Jimmy Hoffa, Princess Diana, Elvis, and JFK.
If it is dehydration, I implore Carlos to put water into one of these things and wear it during games.

~Update~ In the pregame interview on WGN Radio, Carlos Zambrano was interviewed about yesterday's cramp and pitch counts. He said that he is big and strong and can go 150 pitches if Dusty needs it. He also said that he knows his body and WON'T HESITATE to pull the plug on himself if he is tired or feels like he is in danger, REGARDLESS of what Dusty wants to do.

No, not that awful movie with Robert DeNiro, Wesley Snipes, and a blurry Brad Pitt. I'm talking about that guy in the right field family seats at Wrigley who called Gload's homer foul. SportsCenter gave him lots of airtime; he's going to be the toast of the town around the office on Monday. The Cubs ought to employ him as an unofficial instant replay guy; give him a video screen and call him "The Bleacher Umpire." Let him make his call and incite the bleacher fans when the umps blow one. He'd be a much less annoying character than Ronnie Woo Woo. That'll last until the drunks start jumping off the basket and attacking the umpires. On second thought, let's let the innovative St. Paul Saints or Newark Bears do it first.

It currently stands at 114-103 in favor of Blue Jay Way. Watching these two heavyweights slug it out for the World Series title has been a pleasure. The All-Star voting is done and it's too early to vote for our next President, so you have no excuse! Vote! With the race this close, your vote(s) can make a difference! Polls close on 7/14.

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